i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
