That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
