So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
