We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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