Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
