I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
