I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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