somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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