they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
