There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
