i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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