Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
