I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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