I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
