i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
should my penis look like a turkey
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
