He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I am available for nakedness
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
