I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
