I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
