Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You're so nebulous sometimes
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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