this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
