How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
