My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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