Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
