I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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