yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
