I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
