i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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