So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
