Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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