As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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