youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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