i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
