just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
