I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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