I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
