i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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