My first STD was from a foam party
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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