the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
