He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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