So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
