Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
