Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
