i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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