She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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