I've blown a few things in my day
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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