did you get engaged???
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
