carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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