Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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