pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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