Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
