She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize