i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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